New Orleans–Chicago
Dear Simone—
I pray you're in heaven. They tell me that people like us don't get a golden ticket to the pearly gates—are they actually white? I was thinking more of lavender or a soft yellow. Anywho, fuck them. I'm going to keep this short [pun intended], but I've arrived at a special version of myself, and I believe you’d be proud of the man I’m shaping out to be. I’ve stopped drinking; however, I’m such a stoner; Selton is getting a kick out of this. But I also started a coffee company, Monday Coffee Co., and I’m working in music these days.
My life is whole, but I’m not living—rather, living fully.
When I stopped drinking, I felt like my life had stopped. That sounds dramatic, but 90% of my life was parallel to booze culture. And it felt like I was snatched from my life but forced to watch it. I wish you had transformed your relationship with alcohol; I think you may still be here. Before you read any further, I am not coming out as a cult leader. I still love and appreciate a quality wine or spirit—it’s just not something I desire to consume. I don’t blame alcohol for you not being here, for our family dynamic, or any mishaps I’ve made.
However, I wish for this to be—something else. Something intentional, superior quality, and a fucking vibe. Do you know how difficult it is to get a glass of water at the club? It’s not the vibe—I get it. However, I’m not paying $12 for sugar and lemon/lime juice. Stop.
I stopped drinking because of you. I started loving parts of myself; I didn’t know I didn’t love because of you. I saw firsthand how a person could be both land & sea.
Because of you love looks like Lavender; it tastes like a Fat Tuesday; it sounds like Itty Bitty Piggy by Nicki Minaj. And it feels like home.